GOOGLER:

I am the very model of a modern major Googler,
We're going to organize the world's information to be sure.
The PageRank secrets that I know there's no way that I will expose,
Not even if they tortured me would competition reach such goals.

It's true it's rather difficult our hiring exam that you'll get,
Not everyone can build a working disk drive from a Lego set!
And if you're really good it seems to us that you at least possess,
The skill to quote from memory full source of the Linux OS.

ALL:

With skill to quote from memory full source of the Linux OS,
Plus every command argument from every man page more or less,
Encyclopedic knowledge for the most obscure and yes bizarre of tests.

GOOGLER:

My cubicle is more like home than my apartment quite a bit,
But with junk food and drinks for free, why would I ever want to quit?
In short, in matters algorithmic, technical, and frugal-er,
I am the very model of a modern major Googler.

ALL:

In short, in matters algorithmic, technical, and frugal-er,
He is the very model of a modern major Googler!

GOOGLER:

The strange things people search for really can be far beyond belief,
You'd never guess so many wackos wander loose without a leash.
Our data store of your actions makes NSA's look just like toys,
But there's no need to worry because you can trust the Google Boys.

Our Book Search service (Beta) will put every book onto the Web,
OK, there are some lawsuits pending about this if all is said.
But those who say we're violating copyrights are just all wet,
Though I'll admit in secret that we've scanned some books not written yet.

ALL:

Though he'll admit in secret that we've scanned some books not written yet,
To make an omelet properly you have to break some eggs you bet,
And since we are not evil there's nothing to fear, you have no need to fret!

GOOGLER:

With DoubleClick now in our fold, potentials have gone way immense,
Soon there'll be no way to even think of escaping from AdSense.
In short, in matters algorithmic, technical, and frugal-er,
I am the very model of a modern major Googler.

ALL:

In short, in matters algorithmic, technical, and frugal-er,
He is the very model of a modern major Googler!

GOOGLER:

I've never met the ruling troika here inside the Googleplex,
But even so I know their motives are as pure as healthy sex.
We work real hard, our systems spin, we're trying to make a better Earth,
It gets annoying sometimes when outsiders seem to doubt our worth.

That public situation needs to improve before it's too late,
Perhaps what we have here is just a failure to communicate.
But companies worth billions are between a rock and a hard place,
Try do things really right and stockholders may just spit in your face.

ALL:

Try do things really right and stockholders may just spit in your face,
But if nothing is done the government may try to force the pace,
And then we may end up in a decidedly ugly and nasty place.

GOOGLER:

So nothing's simple that's for sure, no matter what some folks may say,
For now I'll just keep hacking code and fill my whiteboard come what may.
In short, in matters algorithmic, technical, and frugal-er,
I am the very model of a modern major Googler.

ALL:

But still, in matters algorithmic, technical, and frugal-er,
He is the very model of a modern major Googler!