When you really think about the stranglehold that the dominant ISPs have on Internet access services here in the USA, it's easy to be concerned, upset, or even angry. In the past when folks felt this way, protest songs were a common form of both relief and exposition.

If it worked for them, perhaps it can work for us. This made me feel a little bit better, anyway. Enjoy.

"Sixteen Gigs"

To the tune of "Sixteen Tons"
With apologies to Merle Travis, who created the classic.
And to Tennessee Ernie Ford, who made it into a standard.

Lyrics Copyright © 2013 Lauren Weinstein. All rights reserved.

My job is pushing files,
Through the whole darned day.
It's as boring as hell,
And it sure doesn't pay.
All bits and bytes,
And error screens,
A few hours of that,
And you want to just scream.

You push 16 gigs,
What do you get?
Connections so sluggish,
And a bandwidth cap yet.
Almost every day,
There's a new damned fee.
I owe my soul to my I-S-P.

My service provider,
Says I shouldn't complain.
He says we dumb subscribers,
Just deserve our pain.
Since we're so darn stupid,
That we pay him at all,
We should be satisfied,
With connections that crawl.

You push 16 gigs,
What do you get?
Connections so sluggish,
And a bandwidth cap yet.
Almost every day,
There's a new damned fee.
I owe my soul to my I-S-P.

I tried to switch providers,
But it got me nil.
From frying pan to fire,
For the same high bill.
My new data speed,
Is running just as slow.
And when I try to complain,
They tell me just to blow.

You push 16 gigs,
What do you get?
Connections so sluggish,
And a bandwidth cap yet.
Almost every day,
There's a new damned fee.
I owe my soul to my I-S-P.

Our Internet speeds,
Are just a joke,
It's so true.
We screwed this all up,
And it makes me so blue.
I have only one wish left,
Before my eyes,
I pray to see Google Fiber,
Before I die.

You push 16 gigs,
What do you get?
Connections so sluggish,
And a bandwidth cap yet.
Almost every day,
There's a new damned fee.
I owe my soul to my I-S-P.

- - -

--Lauren--