May 20, 2012

"50 Ways to Wreck the Network" - With Apologies to Paul Simon

"50 Ways to Wreck the Network"
To the tune of "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"
With apologies to Paul Simon.


MP3 Audio Performance (3:24 minutes / ~3.1 MB)


Lyrics Copyright 2012 Lauren Weinstein. All rights reserved.

The problem is I worry too much,
I pondered one dark day.
But this Internet policy stuff,
Is so confused in every way.

It's as if somebody
Just wanted to take it all away.
There must be 50 ways to wreck the network.

It seemed Net speech was pretty free,
It was quite chill.
But now governments and Hollywood
Are circling for the kill.
And the Web is slipping into space
Where freedoms are quite nil.
There must be 50 ways to wreck the network.
50 ways to wreck the network.

Just block the whole site, Mike.
Go censor the file, Kyle.
Now spy on the mail, Dale.
And you're on your way

Do a bandwidth cap, Jack.
Takedowns in mass, Ash.
Steal the crypto key, Lee.
And watch the geeks flee.

Just ban the whole site, Mike.
Now censor the file, Kyle.
Go spy on the mail, Dale.
Who needs to be free?

Do the bandwidth cap, Jack
Takedowns in mass, Ash.
Steal the crypto key, Lee,
And watch them all flee.

There's ICANN's domain scam,
Cyber-scaremongers, too.
There are people blaming Web cookies
for everything but the flu.
It makes you wonder if folks realize,
how much they really have to lose.
There must be 50 ways to wreck the network.

So many leaders seem bought out
Or without clue.
And I thought to myself,
The title of this song isn't quite true.
When you start to think about it,
You can really get to feeling blue.
There's actually more than 50 ways to wreck the network.
More than 50 ways to wreck the network.

Do a DOS attack, Jack.
Go rip off the cert, Bert
Block the TLD, Lee.
Charge your usual fee.

Tear the servers apart, Art.
Downloaders in jail, Dale.
Screw the due process, Les.
Assume they're guilty!

Great DOS attack, Jack.
Ripped off the cert, Bert.
Blocked the TLD, Lee.
Charge your usual fee.

Rip the servers apart, Art.
Downloaders in jail, Dale.
Screw the due process, Les.
We won you see!

- - -

--Lauren--

Posted by Lauren at May 20, 2012 09:30 PM | Permalink
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