X-Ethereal-From: Alphonse Gabriel Capone
I know that this letter will come to you as something of a surprise, given that we don't know each other, and I ceased my corporeal existence over 60 years ago.
I don't get many chances to write, but I was able to obtain permission this time so that I could congratulate you all on a job well done!
Back when I was alive, I was very interested in finding ways to turn new inventions and technology into quick money. Many of the techniques I chose may not have been entirely legit, I'll admit, but you guys have exceeded anything in my wildest imagination, and completely legal, too!
You can guess by now that I'm referring to your announcement today that your fantastic Internet gTLD top-level domain name racket had raked in more than a third of a billion dollars! Even with inflation from my day, that's a hell of a take, and you haven't even collected all the payments, and this is all with your application system still broken after a month! Amazing!
Yes, I've been watching your wonderful activities for quite sometime!
I know you're probably unaware that we have fairly good Internet access service here now. We recently switched over to using the DTN (Delay-Tolerant Networking) protocols designed for outer space projects, since typical delays to us are, shall we say, even more of a hassle.
I've gotta tell you though, if you boys had been around Chicago when I was in my prime, we might have had a serious competition going.
You know I made a lot of money, most of it from booze but quite a bit also from the girls and gambling and "protection" we could provide. OK, I also bought a lot of milk for school kids and opened up soup kitchens and such. I'm a family man at heart.
But you're putting me to shame. 350 thousand thousand dollars, plus! I think about all the meals for the needy and health care and other things your depressed 21st century economy needs, and you've still managed to suck all that dough out of people's hands, and real moola too, not those stock payments we hear about so much now.
I saw a note where your outgoing boss even said publicly that you are deep with conflicts of interest, yet you still plow ahead with your protection racket to make a relative few incredibly wealthy at the expense of the entire world, and increase confusion, spam (we get it here, too!), and other Internet-related crime that will result. Now that's moxy!
If I still had a body, I would bow to you, and that would be a first for me.
I wish we could have worked together. You're my kind of crooks.
Don't bother writing back. But I'll be watching ya', and loving every minute!
Sincerely yours in admiration,
"Al" Capone, Deceased
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