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Greetings. Now that the recent Google/Verizon proposal has moved the spotlight firmly back onto Network Neutrality and Open Internet issues, with reactions that are -- to say the least -- running on high, I feel inspired to present -- oh no! -- another of my occasional (and perhaps infamous?) "topical" song parodies.
So without further ado:
"You Can't Always Net What You Want"
To the tune of "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
(With apologies to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards)
Lyrics Copyright © 2010 Lauren Weinstein
All rights reserved.
I saw her trying to get some reception,
A shiny new iPhone in her hand.
I knew she couldn't get a connection,
Cellular service here is far from grand.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
But if you try sometimes,
You might find,
You Net what you need.
I'm too far out for D-S-L.
My cable modem often goes real slow.
I pray for Fiber-to-the-home here someday.
But FiOS won't be coming, that I know.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
But if you try sometimes,
Well you just might find,
You Net what you need.
The FCC's caught in the middle sadly,
Network Neutrality debates grown shrill.
Politics framing broadband issues badly,
It's enough to make one feel pretty ill.
Google and Verizon tried get things moving,
They proposed a brand new plan for review.
But rather than discuss calmly what's doing,
Many opponents went berserk and blew.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
But if you try sometimes,
You just might find,
You Net what you need.
[London Bach Choir Bridge]
You Net what you need ...
Internet status quo is not an option.
Everyone's going to have to take some lumps.
A reasoned middle ground is the solution.
Hardball positions set us up as chumps!
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
You can't always Net what you want.
But if you try sometimes,
You just might find ...
You just might find,
You Net what you need!
- - -
"If you liked the show, go home and tell your friends.
If you didn't like the show, don't go home!"
--Lauren--
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